Multicultural Relationship: Our Life Between Switzerland and Sri Lanka

When Sarah and I first met, we both already had our own lives. We were self-employed in the marketing industry, had our own habits and our own ideas about the future. Back then, neither of us had planned to live together in Sri Lanka or run a business as a couple. We've already shared how we met and how our story began in another blog post, so this time I'd like to focus on what came afterwards: our everyday life together.

Because falling in love with someone is one thing. Figuring out how to live together with different habits, expectations and ways of life is something else entirely. Before deciding to build our future in Sri Lanka, we talked a lot about our past experiences, our fears, our work and what we wanted from a relationship. Of course, you can't plan everything in advance, but those conversations helped us understand each other better and make decisions together.

Today, we often realise that our different backgrounds aren't necessarily an obstacle. In fact, we complement each other quite well in many ways. Still, there are situations where we first need to understand why the other person sees something completely differently. And sometimes, all we can do is laugh about it.

When you live with someone from another country, you suddenly start noticing things you've never really thought about before. How do you organise your day? When do you visit friends or family? How important are fixed appointments, and what happens when someone decides to drop by unexpectedly? Many of these things aren't about being right or wrong. They're simply about what you've grown up with and what feels normal to you.

Interestingly, even though Sarah is Swiss, she's actually a very spontaneous person. She loves not having to plan everything weeks in advance. But one thing she was used to in Switzerland was arranging to meet friends several weeks beforehand because everyone had their own schedules and commitments. Here in Sri Lanka, things are often different. Sometimes we decide on the same day to visit someone, meet friends spontaneously or simply spend time with family. And that's something Sarah absolutely loves about living here.

Of course, not every day is spontaneous for us either. We run a business, have client meetings and need to organise our work. But we enjoy not having every free hour planned weeks ahead. Sometimes we simply stop by my parents' house, meet a friend or decide at the last minute to go out for something to eat. For me, many of these things have always been normal. But through Sarah, I've started to appreciate just how special these little freedoms actually are.

One of the biggest differences Sarah has noticed between Switzerland and Sri Lanka is the way families stay connected. In Sri Lanka, family plays a central role in many people's lives. People spend a lot of time together, support each other and often remain closely involved in one another's everyday lives. Sometimes several generations live in the same house or at least close to each other. And when parents grow older, it's common for children and other family members to take care of them and find solutions together.

In Switzerland, Sarah experienced family life a little differently. Of course, families there can be very close and supportive too. But it's more common for people to have their own households, organise their lives independently and make specific plans to visit each other. There are often different expectations when it comes to living arrangements and caring for ageing parents as well. This strong sense of family togetherness is something Sarah particularly appreciates about Sri Lanka. She loves being able to visit family spontaneously, share meals and simply know that people are there for each other.

Our families also had to get used to our relationship. Sarah's parents welcomed me warmly from the beginning, and our connection has become even stronger over time. My parents welcomed Sarah too, although not everyone in our extended family agreed with our decision at first. That wasn't always easy for us, but we tried to support each other and continue building our life together. Today, we really enjoy spending time with our families. My mum, for example, knows exactly how much Sarah loves Pittu, so quite often there's something delicious waiting for her when we visit. It's these little gestures that make Sarah feel like she belongs, even when she doesn't speak the same language as everyone around her.

One of the biggest challenges for Sarah is the language. In Sri Lanka, we hear both Sinhala and Tamil, and not everyone speaks English. This can be particularly difficult during family visits or conversations with friends. Imagine sitting around a table while everyone is talking, telling stories and laughing, but you can only understand a few words here and there. Even though nobody is intentionally excluding Sarah, sometimes she feels like she's not really part of the conversation. It's made me realise how exhausting it can be when you're constantly trying to understand something that everyone else takes for granted.

That's why Sarah has started learning Sinhala regularly and also takes lessons with a teacher. She tries to use what she's learned in everyday situations, even though she sometimes feels a little shy. The writing system is especially challenging because she's not only learning a completely new language but also an entirely different alphabet. When she first saw the Sinhala letters, she actually said some of them looked like little elephants. By now, she's realised that those beautiful letters involve quite a lot of hard work. And besides Sinhala, she'd also love to understand Tamil better, since it's part of our family life too.

But Sarah isn't the only one learning a new language. I'm also trying to learn German, and I keep picking up new words from Sarah and my relatives in Switzerland. Sometimes I suddenly remember an expression I've heard somewhere, although I'm still a long way from being able to have a proper conversation in German. So we both have plenty to learn. For us, though, learning a language isn't just about pronouncing words correctly. It's about understanding the people around us, becoming more independent and feeling more connected to our families and everyday surroundings.

Food is a big part of our life together. We both love cooking, trying new dishes and experimenting with different ingredients. Sarah is vegan, which works quite well in Sri Lanka thanks to the many dishes made with vegetables, lentils, rice and coconut milk. Her absolute favourite meal is rice and curry, and she especially loves how every curry has its own flavour. At first, though, she had to get used to the spice. We often asked for less chilli, but these days she can handle quite a lot more, even if we don't necessarily need everything extra spicy.

Eating with her hands was another new experience for Sarah. For me, it's completely normal with many Sri Lankan dishes, but she needed some time to get used to it. Now she happily eats her rice and curry with her hands too. At home, she also cooks dishes she knows from Switzerland, and I love discovering Swiss food through her cooking. Although I have to say, she rarely follows the same recipe twice. With Sarah, she might cook something one day, and the next time she makes it, it tastes completely different. She loves experimenting, combining ingredients and creating her own dishes. Sometimes the finished meal doesn't even have a name, but most of the time, it tastes really good.

We also enjoy cooking together and combining our two cuisines. When we make Pol Rotti, for example, I take care of the coconut while Sarah prepares the dough and side dishes. Of course, there are still a few things she misses from Switzerland, like balsamic vinegar or having a dishwasher. They might sound like small things, but when you move to another country, you realise that sometimes it's exactly these everyday conveniences you miss. At the same time, we're constantly discovering new favourite dishes, and I'm pretty sure food will always be one of our favourite things to enjoy together.

If you watch our videos on social media, you might sometimes think we're constantly travelling, relaxing at the beach or trying new restaurants. And yes, we love exploring Sri Lanka. But most of our everyday life is filled with work, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and all the usual things everyone has to do. Most mornings start with feeding our cats and talking about what needs to get done that day. Then we head to our office, where we work on client projects, build websites, create content or plan our next ideas.

For lunch, we often get rice and curry from a small local place where we've become regular customers. In the evening, we usually cook together or spend time with our cats. And whenever we need a little break, we might ride our motorbike to the market, grab a coffee or walk down to the beach to watch the sunset. We don't need to experience something extraordinary every single day to be happy. It's often the little things that make our everyday life special.

Of course, there are also days when nothing goes according to plan. Power cuts interrupt our work, a sudden rain shower catches us while we're riding our motorbike, or an unexpected task changes our entire schedule. Sarah had to get used to some of these things, and honestly, they're not always pleasant for me either. But we try to find solutions together and handle these situations with a little humour. Sometimes we're better at that than other times, but that's part of life too.

As a Swiss woman and a Sri Lankan man, we sometimes attract attention, although not always for the reasons you might expect. When we're out together, some people assume Sarah is Indian, possibly because she enjoys wearing traditional South Asian clothing. I've also been told that I look a little like an Indian actor. And sometimes people simply think we're tourists, even though we actually live here. Most of the time, we find these situations pretty funny.

Of course, people also often ask how we met or why Sarah decided to move to Sri Lanka. Most people we meet are friendly and simply curious about our story. Sometimes we get a little more attention than other couples, but our experiences have been mostly positive. Still, we don't want to be seen only as the Swiss woman and the Sri Lankan man. Our backgrounds are part of our story, but in everyday life, we're simply Sarah and Salman, two people sharing their lives together.

As much as we love our life together, of course there are difficult days too. For Sarah, it can sometimes be exhausting to navigate a different language and culture. When several things go wrong at once or she feels overwhelmed, she sometimes says she'd love to just get on a plane and fly back to Switzerland. But that doesn't mean she regrets our life here or actually wants to move back. Usually, in those moments, she simply misses the familiar feeling of being somewhere where she understands everything and knows exactly how things work. I've learned not to immediately take those words as doubts about our decision, but to listen and understand how she's feeling.

Something Sarah still finds particularly difficult is seeing street animals suffering. When she comes across a sick or injured dog or cat, it really affects her. We try to help whenever we can, whether that means giving an animal food or taking it to the vet. At the same time, we know we can't save every animal, even though we'd love to. The heat, mosquitoes and unexpected power cuts can also be frustrating sometimes. Sarah loves warm weather, but even she has days when it's simply too hot. And for some reason, mosquitoes seem to love her more than anyone else.

And of course, we also have disagreements as a couple. We don't always share the same opinion, and sometimes we misunderstand each other. Because we grew up with different experiences and habits, we occasionally need to figure out why the other person feels differently about something. What helps us is talking openly and not assuming that the other person automatically sees things the same way. Sometimes we need a solution, sometimes a little patience, and sometimes just someone who listens. We're still learning how to support each other in the best possible way.

One of the things we enjoy most is travelling together. Even though I grew up in Sri Lanka, there are still so many places I haven't explored. And even in places that are familiar to me, Sarah sometimes notices things I've never really paid attention to before. For her, many experiences are completely new, while I already know certain places, customs or situations. That's what makes our trips so interesting. We sometimes experience the exact same place in completely different ways and show each other things we might have overlooked on our own.

Of course, not every trip goes as planned. Once, we were riding our motorbike through a remote area when a connection near the fuel tank broke and petrol started leaking. It was Sunday, we were surrounded by jungle, and most shops were closed. Eventually, we found someone who normally worked with motorbike tyres. Even though he wasn't familiar with our exact problem, he still tried to help us. Together, we managed to deal with the immediate situation and continue our journey. It was pretty stressful at the time, but now it's one of those stories we'll always remember. More than anything, what stayed with us was that man's willingness to help.

Travelling together isn't only about discovering new places, though. We meet people, try different foods and collect experiences that also inspire our business. We want to show Sri Lanka from both perspectives: mine, as someone who grew up here, and Sarah's, as someone discovering the country with fresh eyes. I think that's exactly what makes our experiences together so special.

Besides our personal life, we also share our work. We both come from a marketing background, but we have different experiences and strengths. Sarah mainly focuses on websites, SEO and the technical side of projects. I work with graphic design, video, advertising and creative content production. Instead of continuing to work completely separately, we decided to combine our skills, and that's how Soul & Spicy came to life.

One question people often ask us is how we manage to spend so much time together. After all, we don't just live together. We also work together and often travel together. For us, it works because we share many interests and both love being self-employed. Of course, that doesn't mean we always agree. Especially with creative projects, we sometimes have different ideas about how something should look or how it should be done. But we've learned that different opinions can actually be a strength when you're willing to listen to each other.

Our different backgrounds also help us professionally. We understand different expectations and perspectives, and we can combine our experiences from Switzerland and Sri Lanka. This is especially valuable for our tourism-related projects because we want to help travellers discover Sri Lanka while also supporting local businesses. We still have plenty of ideas and plans for Soul & Spicy, but most of all, we enjoy building something together that we're both passionate about.

When I look back on our time together, I realise how much I've learned through Sarah. Not only about Switzerland, but also about my own country and habits. Things that once seemed completely normal to me sometimes look different now. For example, when Sarah discovers something she finds beautiful or special, I sometimes realise I've never really paid attention to it myself. On the other hand, there are many things in Sri Lanka that I can explain or show her. And sometimes, while trying to explain something, I realise I don't actually know why we've always done it a certain way.

I believe one of the most important things in a multicultural relationship is not trying to change the other person completely. Sarah doesn't have to stop being Swiss just because she lives in Sri Lanka, and I don't have to give up my own habits or background just because I'm married to a Swiss woman. We can learn from each other, adopt new habits and still remain ourselves. Sometimes we find a compromise, sometimes one of us picks up a new habit, and sometimes we simply accept that we see things differently.

Of course, it doesn't work perfectly every day. We have discussions, misunderstand each other and sometimes need a little time to understand the other person's point of view. But we try to communicate openly and respect each other. For me, a good relationship doesn't mean two people always think alike or never have problems. What matters much more is that both people are willing to grow together through those challenges.

Today, Sri Lanka is our home. This is where we live, work, spend time with our family and plan our future. We still have so many ideas for Soul & Spicy, places we want to explore, interesting people we'd love to meet and experiences we want to share. And of course, we know that not everything will always go according to plan. But that's simply part of our life.

If there's one thing I've learned from our relationship, it's that love alone doesn't automatically make cultural differences disappear. It takes patience, respect, communication and, most importantly, the willingness to see the world through the other person's eyes. We're not perfect people, and we don't have a perfect relationship. But we've consciously chosen each other, and every day we try to build a life that makes both of us happy.

And maybe that's what I love most about our multicultural relationship. We come from two different countries, have grown up with different experiences and bring our own habits into our marriage. But together, we're building a life that isn't simply Swiss or Sri Lankan. It's something that's entirely our own.